祝你生日快乐！！！

why why why... why life is like that... why humans are so cunning... so bad... why...

i juz wan a job... a job that i can earn some money.... why can't i juz haf wat i wan... juz a simple wish... to haf a job that earn some money.... i dun wan big money... i dun wan to be rich... juz a job.... why juz finding a job can cause so much problem.... why....

i'm not the one at fault... i not the one who dun wan to employ u.... why... not that i wan to snatch things away from u... not at alll... i juz wan a simple life... why can't i....

why wan to noe why they dun employ u rite? why dun u go and ask them.... it's not my fault.... being more capable is not my fault.... i can't say that i am veri capable.... i am not in fact... it's bcos of life... my life... i haf to be hardworking... i can't afford any mistake in my life.... they decide not to employ u is bcos they find that ur work performance is not good.... and they dun even haf the intention to employ from the beginning.... it's not mi who cause u lose the opportunity... u are the one who give up on this chance... no one noes this fact... and i can't tell anyone... cos i am oso not suppose to noe... all i can do i to keep my mouth shut... and allow people to think that u are so pityful... and i'm so bad to snatch ur "rice bowl" away... why no one understands... why... why...

why am i born in this family... if i'm not born in this family... i will not haf to look for a job so urgently... and all this problem will not appear on mi... cos the company still will not employ u... so u guys will put the blame on someone else...

i juz need a job... i need money to support my family... my mother is going for a op... she may lost her job... if that happens... means the whole family will die... cos no one is working... i haf to work to ensure that at least one person is workin...

no one understands... who will... anybody cares? nope... no one cares... even my father dun care... why should others care.... people onli care about people who look pityful... please take a look around u... there are people who needs more help than they do...

so wat if she really wan to stays in the company... it's juz bcos of a guy... a guy she likes but he dun like her at all... but mi? i work for the money... hello... who needs this job more.... it's mi... i'm working for a living.... not as a interest... who dun wan to haf a carefree life... that can make their own choices... i wan... but i can't... here... who can i blame... no one... juz blame that why am i born in such a family... i love my mum... i like this family... but why... why i haf this kind of father... who doesn't care at all... life is so hard for mi... living is a suffering hell to mi...

when can i really work for myself... work towards my interest... work towards my future.. i see no future in my life... all i see is to meet ends... meeting lots of ends... endless ends...

wooo... one month had passed since my last entry... had been busy for the past whole month... alot of things happened...

my interim report was due last month... but i had not start to work on it at all... haiz... lucky i am still able to finish it before the date due... if not will minius points de... hee... thanks to all my frends in EPLC... cos my language really suckz man... haha... but i still dun noe my results yet... haiz... cos sum unpleasant things happened at the other company... i mean really bad thing happened... i can't believe the students really did tt... oh my god... i shall not tok abt it here... so teacher no time to mark my group's report... quite worry for my report yet still have to wait for 2 more weeks... hopefully i can pass with good results... pray for mi everyone... 

i also went for movie with lao gong on one of the sat... should watch it at friday de... but we go no more tickets liao... so we bought the sat ones... and is a late afternoon de... cos earlier ones all SOLD OUT... so fast... well... cos it is a hot show and it is the show tt he always wanted to watch... Initial D... i give 3.5 popcorn to it... maybe bcos i dun really like cars... but well i still got to see the cute guys... haha... jay zhou... edison... so handsome... and also at least i did sumthing in his favour... everytime onli he acc mi to wherever and watever i wan to do... it is time i sholud do sumthing for him also... actually there is a few movie i wan to watch... but no money... haiz... i can onli watch one movie... but at least we save some this time... cos i got the $7 movie tickets from alan gor gor... ho ho ho... on tt sat... i was abit angry and worry... cos at around 12 plus to 1pm... i tried to call him to wake up him up... he juz simply dun pick up the phone AS USUAL... then lucky he woke up FINALLY at around 3... so we went at town and went for late lunch or so-called early dinner before the show... then i think he did send mi home... can't remember le... haha... cos quite long already...

we also went to pool with stella, ai ling and cindy... had lot of funs... first time go out with them... but still ok la... they veri funni de... haha... went for chicken rice first... haha... my fav chicken rice...

 so long nv come and tag here le... quite busy in work for this few weeks... feeling tired and sian...  everyday look at the computer screen...  one of those days i will become blind man... haha... i will need magnifying glass to see...  i think too much le ba...  so many things to do everyday.... disbursement, closing of accounts, filing haven done yet... why like tt...

hope tt i can be like Alan... go on leave for long long....  so envy him... why do he haf to go on leave when i need him to most...  last month he help mi with the closing of accounts... this month i help myself...  but nvm.. i did it... i complete everything before the date dues...  not bad ar...

recently dun noe why...  my teeth are acting strange... they are like squeezing themself together...  so uncomfortable... are them leaving mi  hopefully not...  please dun leave mi... i m to be blame... like to eat so much... especially sweet stuff...    haiz...

a song for my cutie teeth: "please please dun go... dun tell mi tt it is over... why do u go... tears are in my eyes... drop away... drop away.. dun drop away.. please tell mi tt u'll stay.. would u stay with mi forever? dun drop away..."

was suppose to go for steamboat with all my beloved friends to celebrate wei lin's, mei zhen's and yvonne's birthday...  but in the end nv go... cos no money liao la...  how to go... so sori guys... i wanted so much to join u guys...  so stay at home lo...

anyway...  i got my pay soon after the following week... why the pay dun come earlier... but i still happy la...  i gave my mama $200 (suppose to be $300 de)... cos i buy clothes for her... so cut to $200 onli... then lend XXX about $100... i spend some on this and tt (mostly on food for weekend)... top up all the ez-link card in my house (around $40-$50 ba)... then buy my mrt stamp, $45... and i found out i left with less than $100 for the month... how to live... why i can't print money...  why... 

then went for movie with lao gong on friday (27 May)... we watch MADAGASCAR.... my dream show for so long...  yeah!!!!!! a veri nice and cute show i should say...  the animals sooooooo cute... i give all my 5 popcons to this show...      veri nice...  Alex the lion... this is for u, ur fav food... ---> steak...  Gloria the hippo.... she is so smart and calm... hee...  u r beautiful... Melman the giraffe... hypochondriac one, he noes everything around to city... clever man... so cool...  Marty the zebra...one who always wan to live in wild... also dream he is in the wild... of cos not forgetting the four abit "crazy" penguins...     they are all sooo funni... u should watch it...

sat went to ng xun house for bbq... yeah... i love bbq... meet all my long last friends in secondary school... miss them alll... i ate alot of chicken wing...  this is the first time i ate soooo many thing at bbq.... the feeling was sooo great... his house is veri nice...  i like it... hope i can stay in there... veri cool leh... when u got out of the lift... is directly ur house door... no other doors at alll...  like in the movie... woooo...

got to meet up with sharon, wei lin and mei zhen  last weekend (sunday)... so happy...  we went to han's at marine sqaure de... then went to suntec to look for ding jun... he workin at BUM equip...  my last time work place... then we ask him out as he is havin his dinner... we went to "tt" cafe for ice-cream...  yummy...  then we went home... sharon bought a necklace... and she is unhappy  cos XXX say she buy things again... ... .... i shall not say anymore... i had a great time... expect for the sharon unhappy part la... thanks guys for this wonderful evening... love u guys...

shall end here first... will try to update here soon...

to my lao gong:

         i love u lots....  oh ya... thanks for the mp3 u gave mi... i love it... muack... i really appreciate wat u haf done for mi... and thanks for the mms... i like ur xiao hua mao...  

ha ha... it's goin to be a long weekend...  cos monday is a public holiday again... haha... well... i haf to hand up another periodic report again... the pervious one, teacher haven mark...  i'm thinking how she goin to mark both at the same time... haha... i juz do my part can liao la...

today is sat... a normal sat i will get to meet my cutie little lao gong de... but not today... cos when he reach the JE interchange,  it is raining cats  and dogs ... then when he called mi, i was doin sumthing so i nv pick up the phone... he wait for about 1 hour (i think)... and he decided to go home...  so sad... actually i m all ready to go and meet him at the interchange... juz before i go out, i called him... but he ask mi not to go out and he is goin home... why like tt... haiz...

well never mind... cos there is still tomolo... it is wei lin's birthday...  we are goin for steamboat to celebrate her birthday... haha...   

 back here again... and this is goin to be the longest blog in here... cos i goin to write wat happened for the past... hmmmm...  let mi think how many weeks... i think is about 3 weeks...

actually i wan to blog every week de... but everytime i log in le... come to this page... but too lazy to type anything in...  so in the end nothing is posted...

i now start from where i stop in the last entry... the third week of my attachment... nothing much happened actually...  cos i still dun really noe how to open up myself to the people in the company...  thinkin that they will think i m too childish for their age... hee... well... in fact i sumtime thinks tt i m abit childish... but life will be boring if everyday is so serious... no laughing for mi... i will die de...  but not so bad la... i find tt the people there not bad... juz tt i dun noe how to mix around with them... but i will try harder...  this whole week i m out for a few days... cos i went for AGM of a few companies... went there with the staff from the share register department... i got to noe 2 new friends... they are veri nice people... we chat alot during the AGM...  cos we went to do the registration for the shareholders... then when the meeting start, we juz sit outside n wait for the meeting to end... but one of my new friend resigned and tis is her last week...  haiz... why like tt... but we exchange our phone numbers... and she still sms mi.... from them, i oso learn abit of the secretarial work... tis is my onli chance to so some secretarial work cos i m in the accounts and payroll department...  i saw different kind of people... some were veri frendly , some were veri bad... they think tt they are so big bcos they own some shares of tt company...  but in fact they are onli a small shareholder... like shit... act as if u r the boss of the whole world... shoutin around at people... as if everyone haf to serve u and let u haf ur way...  lucky that stupid man is not shoutin and yellin at mi... if not i sure shout back...  at tt time feel like give him a big slap into his face and ask him to wake up... early in the morning shout here and there... wondering whether he is hafin PMS anot... then some veri funni... go for the AGM juz for food and free door gift... well... this is singapore, tt's why we see this happening...  

can't wait for the weekend to come... cos this is goin to be a long long weekend... 3 days off leh... bcos of LABOUR DAY...  ho ho ho... friday after work i meet lao gong as usual... then go for dinner... we went to bugis (cos lao gong wan to buy mp3) and had curry fish head... but my cutie little curry fish head turn out to be a ASAM fish head...  pengz... then go home... haha... then sat we meet again... i think we went to east area... izzit tao pa yoh... i bought a skirt home... it's a veri veri nice skirt... i simply love it... then i went the TAKA jewellery to buy sumthing for my mother as mother day gift... plan to give it to her on mother itself... but she spot it when i went home... too bad... and she like it alot... so happy... then lao gong say he comin over to  my house to stay over nite on sunday...  ha ha... i can watch the vcds again.. then on sunday itself... i went to lao gong's house... help him pack his things... and we went to town to buy new rings… cos he lost his ring durin the weekdays… so sad…   like the first ring a lot… but he lost it le… then we came out to my house... and we watch vcds... the miss congeniality 2... the show not too bad...  then on monday... i went home with him... and i went to cut my hair... now my hair short short le... tt time the longest is at my waist there... now the longest at around my shoulder there... veri short hor... but ok la... not too bad...

goin into the fourth week of my job liao... everything goin smoothly so far... this week passes veri fast... cos it is one day lesser...  and on thursday and half of friday the whole company onkli left a few of us... cos most of them went for excel training at NYP... so veri quiet... i was so on wed nite... and i really dun feel well on thurs during work...  o i went to see the company doctor... which is on the 5th floor of the building... so near... no no no... it is called super near... i wait for veri long before i can get to see the doctor's face... and i see her for less than 10 mins... haha... but the medicine quite good...  take for one day then i feel much more better... i went for lunch with my work mate for the first time... well not too bad... and this week end again... so fast... one week is gone...

during the weekend... of cos went out with lao gong again... he bought a winnie the pooh  and a little monkey  called kapo for mi... so cute... i love them... and of cos my lao gong oso... and i find tt the monkey look like my lao gong... haha.. thanks alot lao gong...

this is week 5 le... so fast man...  everyday face to computer...  my eyes veri pain at times...  but no choice... cos if nv see computer how to do work... haha... this week veri busy... can got one company need to close accounts... then the date due is on the 10th which is tuesday... but i cannot finish up the job... to on the 9th i worked over time...  but still cannot finish... lucky on the 10th itself i finish up the stuff...  but tis is not the end yet... i still got another company invoice and expenses claim haf to make payment by the 17th so it means i haf to send the bank letter out on the 13th... and the letter has to be sign by then... but i haf not key in anything yet...  so mean haven check... i rush everything... and on the 13th morning i send the letter for signin on my own... but it was not back in the afternoon... so in the end i went to the bank myself... lucky everything is settled in the end...  but during the course of wait for thing to be check and signed... i m veri free... i did alot of filing etc... but still veri free... haiz...  anyway... this week end le.... so never mind la....

got into some unhappiness with lao gong yesterday... but everything is fine now... hee... today i went to compass point with lao gong... i haf nv being there before... cos it is so far again from my house... it is a shoppin center like jurong point... alot of people go there de... hee...

to my lao gong:

       hope that there will be no more unhappiness within us anymore... i dun like it... hee... love u...

wooo... so fast... time really fly... haha... this is the second week of my attachment... well... so far so good... i did sumthing wrong on thursday... but it is not all my fault... cos i m suppose to send to 2 bank letter to BOA on thursday... but one of them haven not came back to mi till 3pm... and the bank close at 3.30pm... so i went to find my manager... then we found tt the bank letter is still in her tray... she nv send to the finance department to sign... omg... then the other bank letter tt i send out they oso nv sign... dun wan the whole company is doin... well... everything is solve in the end... then on friday... all the machine find fault with mi... the printer dun let mi maunal feed... cos i need to print on coloured paper... but all came out in white paper... then i was faxin sum documents... but the line cannot get through for the whole day till evening... then the stupid accpac window... cannot print... like shit... everything is goin wrong... but well... everything is settled in the end... lucky...

never get to meet lao gong on sat... maybe he dun wan to meet ba... haiz... then he went for his sec sch gathering... so i went to my aunt house... so i meet him on sunday which is today... actually he cannot come out de... but we think of ways lo... haha... he is with mi now... hee...

have not been updatin my cutie blog for about a week le... cos i'm too tired to online... i everyday tell myself tt i wan to online juz to add entry to my blog... but i m sinply too tired and lazy to do so...

for the past few days (including this mon and today...) as i think back... actually i m not too busy... sumtimes i even slack and start to think wat i can do... but when work starts to come in to mi... they come tgether... wa... luckily i can finish them all one by one...

workin in this company is not too bad... people around were quite frendly... but still have to be ware... ho ho ho... cos u never noe wat they do behind ur back... tt's was told to mi when i go for attachment... so muz take note...

everyday i wait n wait n wait... finally my wait ended... friday has come... so happy... friday seems to pass so fast... after work i went to meet priscilla, shu ni, wen jie, joshua and not forgettin my cutie little lao gong (*muack*)... we went to city hall for dinner and then went to "red sofa" cafe to tok carp... haha... went home quite late... well.. we did meet before friday... but the feeling is different... cos it's friday... haha...

then sat we went to east coast park to cycle... yeah... tt's my wish ---> to go cycling with my lao gong like wat we used to do in the past... had a great time... cos lao gong is with mi... sunday he came to my house... then we watch vcd... "white noise"... i dun like this kind of show... haha... never mind my lao gong like can liao...

yesterday (monday) was suppose to go and get contact lens from soo boon.. as he has promise to help lao gong to buy... after i called him to ask whether he bought the lens already... guess wat... he never buy it... he totally forget about it... i was so angry... how can he forget my lao gong contact lens... he promised... kept givin unreasonable excuses... i call everyone i noe to ask who can get contact at a cheap cheap price... but to no vaild... i feel so guilty... cos i'm the one who suggest to ask soo boon to buy the lens for him... so i decided to go and get his lens with him at hougang... so far away... then my leg soooo pain... i feel veri irriated by my legs... in the end i go home alone from hougang... he went to his frend's house... i tot he will send mi to the mrt station... but he dun... i was so disappointed... i never go for my company party at suntec... cos i wanted to meet my lao gong... for ending up like tt... so sad...

today was suppose to meet lao gong after work... but when i was waitin for him to call... i was ask to do another task... since he haven call (so i suppose he has not off work)... so i agreed... but he left without mi... he go home alone... was so disappointed same thing happened again...

sumtime i really wonder... do he really care for mi? wat i wan is physical company from him... i'm a onli child... i dun wan to be alone anymore... to be frank... i m scare to be left alone...